Losers never win, right?
How many times growing up did that trite phrase get repeated? On the playground, in the classroom, on the court…nothing worse than being a loser. Having grown up as the chubby girl, the one often picked near to last, with glasses, and too much fear…I was often a loser. My competitive nature belies the number of losses that I have taken. And at the same time, my winning record, at things like coaching…well, that tells yet another side of the story of my losing legacy.
In the last year, “we” have lost so much. So. So. Much. For some of us, we have had to say goodbye to people we loved, say goodbye to routines, to status quo, to the things that define us, or at least we thought defined us. We have lost, both true, wrenching, difficult losses, and losses we will continue to process for years to come. But, there is one “loss” I need to process and reframe, and that is what is being called “The Lost Year”.
In the last few weeks, I have read several articles being published, tweeted, blogged about, shared, etc., about the “cost” or “toll” of the global pandemic on education. Studies are being done, numbers are being crunched, test scores are being calculated, and across the board of administrators; and pundits, some education connected, some not…there seems to be a consensus: the cost of the pandemic for students was steep…and “we” (read teachers and paraprofessionals/educational support staff) are going to have to work twice as hard to recover the time lost. Some plans call for starting the 2021-22 school year earlier, some are advocating for longer instructional days, some for extended school years.
But, I am not a believer in the “consensus”. I refuse to accept that the last year, the last ten months of planning, teaching, zooming, phone calls, emails, reteaching, late nights and early mornings, Sundays, and even several Saturdays….should be calculated as a loss. In my 20th year in education, I worked harder than I ever have….for no more pay, no more time off, no more “free lunches” or “t-shirts”, and the intrinsic rewards…well, those were few and far between this year. It was just hard. Hard. And sad. And frustrating, and incredibly lonely.
But, it wasn’t a LOSS. I had moments where my students worked harder, with more focus, and more clarity than in previous years. I have students who showed up every day, cameras on, asked amazing questions, tried hard to be better writers, better analyzers, better….humans. I have students from the senior class of 2021 who will head to universities this fall on full academic scholarships, places like Notre Dame and…Duke. (GO Heels….) I watched my students intensely study things like voting behavior and varying state laws in an election year; sat with my students as we watched the attempted coup at the nation’s Capitol in real time, returned messages late nights and weekends about the “what if’s” as an unhinged maniac took to twitter in the waning hours of a presidency….all while navigating the emotional, financial, physical and mental toll of the pandemic on their families, their communities, their own persons. I can’t count the number of times in the zoom chat, on any given day, I would get a “Love you, Collins”, “thank you, Miss”, “I really love this class”….THESE ARE WINS.
I know, not every teacher is going to agree with me. And that is okay. But, I cannot just sit by and be okay with the framing of the year being one of deficit and loss. I cannot. Because there were wins. This year’s students learned how to LEARN on platforms never seen before, learned how to manage deadlines and times, without ever touching a single piece of paper. Learned how to do difficult things with difficult circumstances. Learned how to juggle multiple responsibilities for academics while also in some cases, caretaking, working or being the help to a sibling. This year’s students…they are resilient. They are winners. They are prepared for things that we could not have envisioned 18 months ago.
During a late in the year staff meeting, while listening to an administrator wane on about the lost instructional time, and why the region was opting to start the 2021 school year on July 26th….I finally had to come off of mute in an effort to lend an alternative perspective. I said to my colleagues, and my administrators….in 1939, Germany invaded the country of Poland, plunging most of Europe, and eventually the world, in to a world war…in the next 6 years, millions of people died in systemic genocide, and millions others in war and it’s affects. I went on to remind those on the zoom call that learning, and formal education essentially stopped in much of the world, and for entire populations of people. But, it was what happened next that bears remembering….those same young people, who’s lives were turned upside down, who in some cases…lost nearly everything…went on to be the thinkers, the learners, the teachers, the scientists, the doctors and nurses, the professors, the builders, the pilots, the parents, the leaders…of their generation. And they did it ALL in spite of having LOST SO much.
I know that much of what I had to say fell on deaf ears, when it comes to administration. But, I need to say it…my colleagues worked hard. My students…almost overwhelmingly…worked hard. We learned, and grieved, and grew, and laughed, and sometimes, just smiled, happy to see someone without a mask on….but, we didn’t lose. I won’t take this year as a loss, and I won’t sit silent while the story of the year of the pandemic is framed as a loss. I will remind others of the wins. I will hold on to the wins that I had with my students, and my colleagues.
So, if the story persists, the one in which teachers are the problem, and students lost….I will be the voice in the corner saying…you don’t speak for me. Here’s to the one that we lost….
Back to drinking and paddleboarding, with my eyes on the 2021 school year….looking for some more wins….
And I can’t even express…that moment, my heart swelled…and my eyes filled. To hear that, just 24 hours into this new year..my joy. My passion. My heart. Is evident to these students.
GratitudeThroughChange 